[ snake knows how to render him vulnerable, stripping metal down until he reaches that bare, human heart. raiden feels like a boy again. a bumbling "rookie" who wanted to be useful and special in his eyes. the broken shell of a man who laid at his feet and cried. it comes back to him in a rush, overwhelming for a second while his fingers flex and his eye raises to him.

one of his hands moves to fiddle with the bandana strapped across his face. ]

You wanted me to go back... and not waste my youth. I wanted to listen to you... I wanted to be that man. The one who could spend the rest of his life with his family in peace... someone honorable. I...I wanted to heal...and I know you wanted me to, too.

But I couldn't. There's a fucked up little boy in there who still enjoys tearing people to shreds. Jack the Ripper. He won't leave me alone — and I can't shut him out anymore.

[ a pause as he sets his hands against his knees. ]

I wanted to protect the future you fought for. But I couldn't. The war economy... it's humming right back to life with more bravado than ever. I have to stop it. Not just for you and Sunny, but for the millions of people out there living just like I did.

[ the laugh that escapes him is wry and bitter — it's subdued with sorrow, though. ]

All this time, I thought that you'd be disappointed in me. I kept looking for you in everything and everywhere. All of the things you told me to do...I couldn't. And the world — it wasn't the same after you left. I went back to PMCs because there wasn't a place for a cyborg...or, I suppose, a monster like me. After everything I'd seen and been through, I still went back... it was like I forgot all over again. Then I remembered... and I couldn't forgive myself for that.

This is who I am, Snake. Who I really am. I don't know if I can change anything at the end of the day...but I know what I have to do — whether it makes me a bad guy or not.