those feelings come flooding back: awe, adoration, admiration, respect, belonging. hell, he forgot he was capable of this sort of warmth; it'd been entrenched in desperation for who knows how long.
when snake died, so did his faith in the world.
there are too many words pounding at the constraints of his mind, heavy like lead. he wants to apologize. he wants to hug him, be held in his embrace as though he were a child. he wants to say he'll do better next time. he wants to run away. he wants to ask him what he should've done — where he went wrong. if he went wrong. but none of these ideas actualize, and he resigns to letting them remain as feelings: as fleeting wants and nothing more.
is this heaven, he asks? or is it hell?
when he meets his gaze, his eyes are tired and vulnerable. snake's standing at his apartment door. he's so young. it's like — fuck, it's like they're back on big shell. ]
...Snake. [ is all he says. the door is slowly wedged open for him with a creak. ]
11/1
those feelings come flooding back: awe, adoration, admiration, respect, belonging. hell, he forgot he was capable of this sort of warmth; it'd been entrenched in desperation for who knows how long.
when snake died, so did his faith in the world.
there are too many words pounding at the constraints of his mind, heavy like lead. he wants to apologize. he wants to hug him, be held in his embrace as though he were a child. he wants to say he'll do better next time. he wants to run away. he wants to ask him what he should've done — where he went wrong. if he went wrong. but none of these ideas actualize, and he resigns to letting them remain as feelings: as fleeting wants and nothing more.
is this heaven, he asks? or is it hell?
when he meets his gaze, his eyes are tired and vulnerable. snake's standing at his apartment door. he's so young. it's like — fuck, it's like they're back on big shell. ]
...Snake. [ is all he says. the door is slowly wedged open for him with a creak. ]
Just...sit wherever you want.