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[ it's like looking at a ghost.
those feelings come flooding back: awe, adoration, admiration, respect, belonging. hell, he forgot he was capable of this sort of warmth; it'd been entrenched in desperation for who knows how long.
when snake died, so did his faith in the world.
there are too many words pounding at the constraints of his mind, heavy like lead. he wants to apologize. he wants to hug him, be held in his embrace as though he were a child. he wants to say he'll do better next time. he wants to run away. he wants to ask him what he should've done — where he went wrong. if he went wrong. but none of these ideas actualize, and he resigns to letting them remain as feelings: as fleeting wants and nothing more.
is this heaven, he asks? or is it hell?
when he meets his gaze, his eyes are tired and vulnerable. snake's standing at his apartment door. he's so young. it's like — fuck, it's like they're back on big shell. ]
...Snake. [ is all he says. the door is slowly wedged open for him with a creak. ]
Just...sit wherever you want.
those feelings come flooding back: awe, adoration, admiration, respect, belonging. hell, he forgot he was capable of this sort of warmth; it'd been entrenched in desperation for who knows how long.
when snake died, so did his faith in the world.
there are too many words pounding at the constraints of his mind, heavy like lead. he wants to apologize. he wants to hug him, be held in his embrace as though he were a child. he wants to say he'll do better next time. he wants to run away. he wants to ask him what he should've done — where he went wrong. if he went wrong. but none of these ideas actualize, and he resigns to letting them remain as feelings: as fleeting wants and nothing more.
is this heaven, he asks? or is it hell?
when he meets his gaze, his eyes are tired and vulnerable. snake's standing at his apartment door. he's so young. it's like — fuck, it's like they're back on big shell. ]
...Snake. [ is all he says. the door is slowly wedged open for him with a creak. ]
Just...sit wherever you want.
Edited 2020-11-02 01:16 (UTC)
[ for a spell, he says nothing. this isnt unusual of snake, admittedly. he hears it, the exhaustion laced in raiden's voice, and he wonders what it's from. he could ask, snake supposes, but he gazes over at raiden with that look, that's something between a man and a protector, predator and equal.
the mask is left on his hip, gold flecks catching the light as he walks into the apartment that is next to his; he'd picked it deliberately, made a point to settle himself in next to him just in case. overbearing and presumptive as always.
he chooses the bed. sits on the edge of it, elbows on his knees and fingers laced loosely. he can see it, the way the wrinkles in raiden's face knit together with thought and control: he looks like he's seen a ghost.
snake looks to the floorboards, clearing his throat.
maybe he has. he's not sure yet. ]
Not gonna ask about the face?
[ seriously, he expected that out of his mouth first. ]
the mask is left on his hip, gold flecks catching the light as he walks into the apartment that is next to his; he'd picked it deliberately, made a point to settle himself in next to him just in case. overbearing and presumptive as always.
he chooses the bed. sits on the edge of it, elbows on his knees and fingers laced loosely. he can see it, the way the wrinkles in raiden's face knit together with thought and control: he looks like he's seen a ghost.
snake looks to the floorboards, clearing his throat.
maybe he has. he's not sure yet. ]
Not gonna ask about the face?
[ seriously, he expected that out of his mouth first. ]
[ raiden braces his back against the wall, heel digging into worn plaster and wood. he folds his arms and throws his head back a little. ]
Feel like I should be calling you Pliskin right now...
[ the anxiety in his voice is hard to miss. he doesn't sound like the aged, brusque veteran he normally would; no, his voice is muted and shy as he swallows. ]
I...didn't think much of it. How's it feel? To be...in the right body this time?
Feel like I should be calling you Pliskin right now...
[ the anxiety in his voice is hard to miss. he doesn't sound like the aged, brusque veteran he normally would; no, his voice is muted and shy as he swallows. ]
I...didn't think much of it. How's it feel? To be...in the right body this time?
...Right.
[ that makes no fucking sense.
raiden's gaze uncomfortably roves somewhere else — anywhere else but his face. ]
I don't use Jack anymore.
[ ... ]
It's been fine. We've all got voices in our head around here.
[ that makes no fucking sense.
raiden's gaze uncomfortably roves somewhere else — anywhere else but his face. ]
I don't use Jack anymore.
[ ... ]
It's been fine. We've all got voices in our head around here.
Yeah. I figured.
[ raiden’s mask is stashed away somewhere in this room. ]
What’s yours like? Whatever’s attached to you, I mean.
[ raiden’s mask is stashed away somewhere in this room. ]
What’s yours like? Whatever’s attached to you, I mean.
Knows a lot. Talks too much. [ probably going to talk his ear off in a bit. snake puts it back in place. ]
It's an Okami. [ he might be wordsalading whatever it's telling him now, truthfully. ] Kept me out of danger... So I guess I owe it an ear, at least.
[ he'll let him ask questions or explain his own, if he wants. ]
It's an Okami. [ he might be wordsalading whatever it's telling him now, truthfully. ] Kept me out of danger... So I guess I owe it an ear, at least.
[ he'll let him ask questions or explain his own, if he wants. ]
Kinda sounds like you.
[ y’all remember those 5 minute long explanations in MGS2? whew.
anyhow, raiden tilts his head. ]
Do you think the body you’re in now has something to do with it?
[ might as well get straight to the point. ]
[ y’all remember those 5 minute long explanations in MGS2? whew.
anyhow, raiden tilts his head. ]
Do you think the body you’re in now has something to do with it?
[ might as well get straight to the point. ]
[ raiden turns his eye back to him. he knows snake well enough to understand what that grunt signifies. ]
That's why you keep the mask on you all the time.
[ a beat. ]
You don't wanna risk it.
That's why you keep the mask on you all the time.
[ a beat. ]
You don't wanna risk it.
[ precisely. the fact raiden figures that out so quickly is... mildly annoying but snake shakes his head. ]
Charming as it is that you deduced that, you know it's not the entire reason we're talking, Raiden.
[ he makes eye contact, holds it. ] How long's it been?
Charming as it is that you deduced that, you know it's not the entire reason we're talking, Raiden.
[ he makes eye contact, holds it. ] How long's it been?
You want to play catch-up. I get it.
[ he’s blunt, brutally so. it’s oddly characteristic of him — the brashness from all those years ago is still there in its own way. ]
But I need to know if you think letting this thing have control over you is worth the risk.
[ he’s blunt, brutally so. it’s oddly characteristic of him — the brashness from all those years ago is still there in its own way. ]
But I need to know if you think letting this thing have control over you is worth the risk.
Edited 2020-11-02 06:15 (UTC)
[ when he stares at him, his eyes are distant; jaded, even.
he leans his head back against the wall. ]
Losing control of your own mind is serious shit, Snake. That’s all I’m saying. Don’t forget that.
he leans his head back against the wall. ]
Losing control of your own mind is serious shit, Snake. That’s all I’m saying. Don’t forget that.
No.
I’m used to this. Not having control — someone else being in my head. This is my normal.
And she’s less of a threat than I am, anyways.
I’m used to this. Not having control — someone else being in my head. This is my normal.
And she’s less of a threat than I am, anyways.
She’s a girl, yeah. Bakeneko if I remember right. Name’s Eiko.
Like I said, this is kind of my normal.
So no, I’m not scared. But you are.
So no, I’m not scared. But you are.
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