No, I'm not scared. So far, every person in this apartment complex has had a mask like our's. Notice anything about the locals? No masks. That's their faces. We put on their faces to blend in, become them. Seems like it might be a safety precaution above all else, but it's also backing us into a corner. We have no choice but to rely on them. That's the point. I don't know your "Eiko", but she doesn't need to be more of a danger than you. She's doing her job by staying near you. For all we know, the real danger will start once they figure out we're not from here— so no. I'm not afraid. This is the cautious decision. Besides, don't you think that there's people besides us who are more at risk? This isn't the first time that I've received the briefing this way, but it might be for the others. Better to play by the rules until we know how big the gameboard is... or what game they're even playing at.
[ but that is an answer to his question, one might say. part of him wants to cross the distance and pay him on the shoulder, maybe give him a one armed hug.
but he doesn't, of course. snake just sits, fists on his knees, back straight.
and there's a moment there, where his voice is a little softer, perhaps. something like relief, and care peeking through. ]
when snake’s voice softens, raiden’s throat tightens in turn. his fingers flex, eye squeezing shut for half of a second.
this is reality. this is not a dream. that makes the pain, and everything it brings, all the more intense. raiden blinks rapidly as though his body’d been responding to an influx of tears. but there’s nothing there. ]
I know that... [ he rasps out. ] But—fuck, Snake. I just...You asked me if I was afraid. I’m not. I’m not afraid of whatever’s in our heads, what this place or why we’re here, I’m afraid of—
[ this is so goddamned pathetic. ]
...Forget it. You’re right. You’re here. And so long as you are, I’m not letting you go down.
[ afraid of what? snake watches him. studies his body language, traces his gaze along raiden's face and picks apart his expression. he thinks he sees grief. he understands that. five years is a long time. sunny should almost be in her teens— if she's not already, depending on which side of the year it is.
so for a moment, he's just an old man with his brows knitted in contemplation and something like pain. ]
[ he remembers laying on that floor, latching onto his leg, pleading for him to let raiden go. he would’ve taken death over losing snake. he would’ve taken anything.
raiden raises his head, eyes shining the way they did on that day. ]
Losing you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
[ he had a hunch, sure. but he has no idea how to navigate this kind of thing. he's bad with emotions as is. it's not that snake is here, necessarily, it's the prospect of losing him again that has raiden... well, in the state he is. ]
I have something I have to do. I'm going nowhere until then.
[ from snake's point of view, this is the end of the conversation. he's uncomfortable, to put it plainly, and unsure of how to begin to respond at this point. he can settle for living next to raiden and inserting himself into his matters when snake himself deems necessary, so he inclines his head, wordlessly, and stands. it wasn't his choice to be here and he gets the feeling it isn't raiden's, either. so he stands and makes his way towards the door, only to be stopped by mention of sunny.
so he looks up, still silent, eyes swimming with emotion for a moment. his last moments in front of that grave had been spent gracelessly hoping he had the power to go through with it for the sake of the future— for sunny's sake.
Yeah. [ raiden folds his arms. ] He misses you too. Tries not to show it too much...but he doesn’t do a very good job at it.
[ raiden’s features soften at the thought of sunny; she thaws him without even trying. ]
Truth is, she doesn’t need him to take care of her though. She’s got her own company — builds spacecraft for a living. She’s all grown up, Snake. Doing more than I ever could. Heh. She’s making the world a better place.. and she’s only 10.
I don’t need to tell her that you’d be proud of her. I think...I think she already knows.
[ there’s a moment where he falls silent. he holds his gaze and shakes his head with a half assed raise of the arms. ]
This is the only time I get to see you and you’re leaving already. Wow.
[ he can see it in raiden's expression, even if it's not obvious. he's proud of sunny, too, in that way you can only be if you fathered someone. he listens, and he picks up a little here and there about raiden too. he's matured, gotten rough around the edges, but perhaps that's more because he's allowed himself to become so.
admittedly, he really does feel like he's trying to wet nurse raiden through grief right now. but can he blame him? no, not really. everyone deals with it differently. ]
Didn't realize you wanted me to stick around.
[ snake looks out the window toward... well, the brick outside. not the most attractive scenery, but sure. at least they can lock themselves inside. ]
What do you mean? "Doing more than you ever could"?
[ "get what?" is on the tip of his tongue. raiden settles himself in on a seat, looking downcast and contemplative. he wants to ask what the real problem is, where exactly he should be applying his attention for the moment.
talking about sunny is tricky for him. he's always opted for nonverbal with her. she gets it; probably understands it faster than verbal communication. ]
She gets it from you. [ he says, voice gruff with smoke and emotion that he's trying to suppress. ] You and Otacon... that's why her name's Sunny. She was always going to be the sunshine we needed. Our light upon future.
[ raiden listens in silence. lets him speak, even if his features harden and his brows have cinched. if he had a bottom lip, he'd likely be frowning right now. ]
She's the light. You're right. But I'm the darkness. I always have been. I've accepted that.
[ chuuni moment. ]
Snake. [ his voice lowers. ] I went back to the battlefield. And I did something that's got me slated as public enemy number one. I don't regret it... but the unrepentant killer inside me, I'm not going to deny him anymore. I can't change who I am, but I can make sure no one else has to be like me.
[ man, he swears he's heard this before... where did raiden get that.
oh right. ]
I'm a shadow... One no light can shine on.
[ truthfully speaking, it was never going to work out for snake. for raiden, he hoped for the best. admittedly, maybe this is the best. because snake hears something in there, amidst the gloom; that despite what he and the rest of the men responsible for the world have done to people like him, raiden's going to make sure no one else has to live like that.
and that's good, because it's change.
he tilts his head, leans back and looks down at raiden. ]
Don't be stupid. [ there's something between a growl and a laugh in his throat, a noise so old and worn in it's own nostalgic way. ] I told you. You're lightning, casting light on the things in the shadows, striking them down. [ mercilessly, maybe. ] The battlefield has it's purpose for certain people... until they're gone, it'll go on. What we can do is fight, and keep fighting, for change. That will keep the future bright, and hopeful.
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I'm not playing around with this. I'm taking it seriously. But I'm not giving in and avoiding it.
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I’m used to this. Not having control — someone else being in my head. This is my normal.
And she’s less of a threat than I am, anyways.
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Sounds like you've gotten to know yours pretty well.
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So no, I’m not scared. But you are.
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I get it, Pliskin.
[ raiden breathes in. ]
Why’d you come here?
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[ but he’ll indulge him. ]
It’s been fine. Really. I just...wasn’t expecting to see you.
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[ but that is an answer to his question, one might say. part of him wants to cross the distance and pay him on the shoulder, maybe give him a one armed hug.
but he doesn't, of course. snake just sits, fists on his knees, back straight.
and there's a moment there, where his voice is a little softer, perhaps. something like relief, and care peeking through. ]
But I'm here now.
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5 years, give or take.
[ since—...
when snake’s voice softens, raiden’s throat tightens in turn. his fingers flex, eye squeezing shut for half of a second.
this is reality. this is not a dream. that makes the pain, and everything it brings, all the more intense. raiden blinks rapidly as though his body’d been responding to an influx of tears. but there’s nothing there. ]
I know that... [ he rasps out. ] But—fuck, Snake. I just...You asked me if I was afraid. I’m not. I’m not afraid of whatever’s in our heads, what this place or why we’re here, I’m afraid of—
[ this is so goddamned pathetic. ]
...Forget it. You’re right. You’re here. And so long as you are, I’m not letting you go down.
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so for a moment, he's just an old man with his brows knitted in contemplation and something like pain. ]
What are you afraid of?
[ for a moment, he wonders if it's himself. ]
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raiden raises his head, eyes shining the way they did on that day. ]
Losing you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.
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I have something I have to do. I'm going nowhere until then.
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...Right.
[ and just like back then, it hadn’t been remotely comforting. characteristic, but not comforting. thanks snake. ]
Just don’t overdo it. [ he continues flatly. there’s a beat. ]
...Sunny misses you, by the way.
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so he looks up, still silent, eyes swimming with emotion for a moment. his last moments in front of that grave had been spent gracelessly hoping he had the power to go through with it for the sake of the future— for sunny's sake.
snake nods. ] Otacon taking good care of her?
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[ raiden’s features soften at the thought of sunny; she thaws him without even trying. ]
Truth is, she doesn’t need him to take care of her though. She’s got her own company — builds spacecraft for a living. She’s all grown up, Snake. Doing more than I ever could. Heh. She’s making the world a better place.. and she’s only 10.
I don’t need to tell her that you’d be proud of her. I think...I think she already knows.
[ there’s a moment where he falls silent. he holds his gaze and shakes his head with a half assed raise of the arms. ]
This is the only time I get to see you and you’re leaving already. Wow.
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admittedly, he really does feel like he's trying to wet nurse raiden through grief right now. but can he blame him? no, not really. everyone deals with it differently. ]
Didn't realize you wanted me to stick around.
[ snake looks out the window toward... well, the brick outside. not the most attractive scenery, but sure. at least they can lock themselves inside. ]
What do you mean? "Doing more than you ever could"?
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[ raiden lets out a heavy, weary sigh. ]
You really just don't get it sometimes, do you.
[ raiden suddenly shifts and pulls up a chair so that he's sitting across from snake. his head is turned down for a minute. ]
That exactly. She's bringing good into the world.
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talking about sunny is tricky for him. he's always opted for nonverbal with her. she gets it; probably understands it faster than verbal communication. ]
She gets it from you. [ he says, voice gruff with smoke and emotion that he's trying to suppress. ] You and Otacon... that's why her name's Sunny. She was always going to be the sunshine we needed. Our light upon future.
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She's the light. You're right. But I'm the darkness. I always have been. I've accepted that.
[ chuuni moment. ]
Snake. [ his voice lowers. ] I went back to the battlefield. And I did something that's got me slated as public enemy number one. I don't regret it... but the unrepentant killer inside me, I'm not going to deny him anymore. I can't change who I am, but I can make sure no one else has to be like me.
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oh right. ]
I'm a shadow... One no light can shine on.
[ truthfully speaking, it was never going to work out for snake. for raiden, he hoped for the best. admittedly, maybe this is the best. because snake hears something in there, amidst the gloom; that despite what he and the rest of the men responsible for the world have done to people like him, raiden's going to make sure no one else has to live like that.
and that's good, because it's change.
he tilts his head, leans back and looks down at raiden. ]
Don't be stupid. [ there's something between a growl and a laugh in his throat, a noise so old and worn in it's own nostalgic way. ] I told you. You're lightning, casting light on the things in the shadows, striking them down. [ mercilessly, maybe. ] The battlefield has it's purpose for certain people... until they're gone, it'll go on. What we can do is fight, and keep fighting, for change. That will keep the future bright, and hopeful.
You can't tell me you aren't doing that.
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